Oedipal

Adam loves to cuddle and snuggle with me, and his affectionate embraces are usually accompanied by his original expression, delivered in baby-talk accent, "No more den love." I've asked him what exactly "no more than love" means, and he says, "It means I love you more than anyone."

"More than you love anyone else or more than anyone else loves me?"
"It means both."

My brother and his girlfriend recently became engaged, and the day after we shared the good news with the kids, Adam came up and put his arms around me, snuggled in, and started his baby talk:
"Mmm. . . We get . . . engaged."
"Well, see, I'm already married to your dad."
"Me get bigger, Daddy get un-invorced from you, we get married.  Mmmmm. No more den love."

Bounty Hunters

Adam: Can I use the web site?
Me: The web site?
Adam: Yeah. I need to show my friend what bounty hunter he's being. We're playing Star Wars. Can you type in "Star Wars guys with white helmets?"

Better Living Through Technology

We're getting ready for a road trip that will require two days of driving each way. Our kids have been remarkable car travelers so far, but I'm scared we might be pushing our luck with this one. Although I have some snacks, activities, and media options planned, any advice will be appreciated.

So far today I:

• Booked the hotel room. (A suite with two separate bedrooms! Suite!)
• Started a packing list.
• Bought a microphone app for my phone that will work through the car speakers. Four days of craning around and hollering to communicate with the kids in the back seat of the minivan? I don't think so.

Zuzu's Baptism

I find I rarely blog about the things I care most about because I feel I lack the time to figure out how to adequately express them.

Yesterday and its events were wonderful -- just wonderful -- and my heart is very full.

Tonight I don't have time to express all I'm thinking and feeling about my sweet Zuzu and her baptism and confirmation yesterday, but the pictures (perhaps with a few brief captions) say something, and I suppose something is better than nothing.

We bought her her own new set of scriptures. A couple of times during the last few weeks I've looked over during the sacrament at church to see her absorbed in her scriptures, all on her own. You keep that up, my love, and it will bless you your whole life.

Her daddy baptized her.

Photo by Spencer

A lot of people who love her showed up. Even her Uncle Andy, who lives in California, with his fiancée Christina, who we thought was at home in Pittsburgh, made a surprise appearance. Hurrah!

For the record, the blue satin sash was entirely her directive:

Photo by Tia

Guest Post: Words and Pictures

Clearly Jane inherited her spelling skills from Mary and not from me.  Not only does she spell the words correctly, she finishes in time to add illustrations.

The Dangers of Distraction

I'm not talking about texting while driving.

I'm talking about Ellen saying, "Mom, can I have an egg?" and me saying "Yeah. Just a minute," and then forgetting about it until I smell smoke.

One of Adam's and Ellen's favorite snacks is an egg cooked in a bowl in the microwave. A few weeks ago I showed them how to do it themselves. They've gotten pretty good at cracking the eggs, but they've never done it without me there until today. Today Ellen put an egg in a melamine (non-microwaveable) bowl and cooked it until the egg and the bowl were both beginning to turn black.

We opened the windows and turned on fans and left on a walk for an hour, but now, more than 6 hours later, the kitchen still smells terrible. We've got the windows open again, so the house is freezing; meanwhile I'm really hoping the smell will just dissipate and we won't to have to call in the pros.

And it all could have easily been avoided with a few moments of my attention. Can I possibly not have learned by now that if your 3 year old mentions an activity involving a microwave, you go with her, NOW?  Oy vey.

Here's what a chemical information site says about melamine:

"The substance decomposes on heating or on burning producing toxic and irritating fumes including hydrogen cyanide, nitrogen oxides, and ammonia."

No wonder my eyes and throat are burning.

Oy vey.

Jane's First Foray Into Musical Theater

Jane is in the ensemble of her school play, Oliver! (Although she is excited about this, the exclamation point there is part of the official title of the show. I think I could maybe get sued or something for typing the title without the exclamation point.)

This is the second year they've done a musical at her school. We were out of town for last year's, but other parents have told me that the quality of the production was far beyond their expectations.

I'm glad Jane has this opportunity, but it might be time to buy her her "I can't. I have rehearsal" t-shirt. She's been at rehearsal every day after school until 5:00 for the last several weeks, and on the last two Saturdays, and today though she's out of school for President's Day, she went to rehearsal at 9:00 and is still there.

Seeing how hard the kids have worked, I wanted to help get the word out:

Where:
Orem High School Auditorium

When:
Wed, Feb 23, 7:00 p.m.
Thurs, Feb 24, 7:00 p.m.
Fri, Feb 25, 7:00 p.m.
Sat, Feb 26, 12:30 p.m.

Admission is FREE!
Concessions will be available for sale, as well as roses and notes to have delivered to cast members.

The Miracles of Technology

Me: Do you want to call Uncle Andy?
Adam: Yeah. Why?
Me: It's his birthday!
Adam: How far away is he?
Me: California.
Adam: Oh, that's too far.
Me: Yeah, but we can call.
Adam: No, I mean . . . the phone.
Me: We can call to California on the phone. The phone can call that far.
Adam: No. It can't. It's too far.

(Later.)

Adam: Mom, I just thought it was too far away, but then I thought of Nauvoo, and how we can call Grandma, and Nauvoo is even farther away than California, and if we can call Grandma Kathe all the way in Nauvoo, then we can call Andy in California.

Ellen Outdoes Herself

"Mom, I picked my clothes for school tomorrow."

She wore these with her purple shoes.

Won't You Be My Valen-swine?

Saw these at Target's Dollar Spot:

Immediately two things came to mind:

1. These animal valentines I made for Jane to give to her playgroup friends in 2002. (She was 8 months old at the time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! First child.)

Of course each one contains a dumb pun. It is a cherished tradition.

Please pardon the circa 2001 photography skillz.

2. Design Mom's 2010 wild animal valentines. Design Mom is usually worth copying. Next I want to copy her plan to move to Europe.

I enlisted Jane & Zuzu in the creation of the bad puns to accompany each animal. It was clearly in their blood, although Zuzu quickly began to favor the nonsensical. As you read her suggestions in this list growing increasingly bizarre, please imagine the volume of her and Jane's uncontrollable laughter growing equivalently.  I wanted ear plugs.

Here's our master list. Add your own in the comments!

(Hate puns but like photos? Skip to the end.)

Bull:
You'd better bull-ieve I want you for my valentine. -J
I want you for my valentine, and that's no bull! -M

Cat:
We're just purr-fect for each other. -M
Valentine, if you and I were together, it'd be a cat-astrophe. -J (A particular favorite of mine.)
You're the cat's meow, Valentine! -M
I want you for my valentine, and I'm not kitten! -M

Cow:
Valentine, we're just perfect for each udder. -J
Moo, oh, moo! Can you please be moo valentine? -Z (Z: "Get it? 'My oh my?'")
 I would be udderly thrilled if you'd be mine. -M

Dog:
Doggone it, you stole my heart. -J

Duck:
I'd be a lucky duck if you'd be my valentine. -M 

Goat:
Being my valentine wouldn't be so ba-a-a-ad. -P (Hurray! Peter chimed in!)

Goose:
Goose I never thought you'd be my valentine. -Z
You give me goosebumps, Valentine. -M
 
Hen: 
Valentine, how about a peck? -J
I want to ask you to be my valentine, but I'm too chicken. -M
Valentine, you and I make an eggs-traordinary pair. -J

Horse:
I want you for my valentine, and I'm not horsin' around. -M
I would go down on my neighs for you, Valentine, but I can't 'cause I'm a horse. -Z (Me: "But Zuzu, horses can go down on their knees." Z: "I don't care! It's funny!")
All I wanna do is make you be my valen . . . horse. -Z
Please say "yea" and not "neigh." -M

Pig:
How about a hog, Valentine? -M
Happy Valen-swine's Day! -J
You make me squeal, Valentine. -M 
Hello,Valentine! Are you a hog? Let's have some swine! -Z (Z: "Get it?! Wine?!" At this point she was laughing so hard she could barely get out the words.)
 
Rooster:
Cock-a-doodle-doo! Rise and shine and please be mine. -M

Sheep:
Wool ewe be my valentine? -M
You're one ram-bunctious valentine! -J
My heart is bleating for you, Valentine. -M
I love ewe. -M

I wish I'd written down all of Adam's suggestions from later when we were putting the valentines together. They were too nonsensical to remember, but so delightful. He did come up with, "This little piggy cried, 'Will, will, will you be mine?' all the way home." Clever, no? This is the 5-year-old who says "whereas."

Jane had her own darling valentine idea:

I suggested she could re-wrap the suckers in wax paper and add a center to each flower to make them even more aesthetically pleasing. She laughed at me, because, saints be praised, I did not pass on The Crazy to this kid.

Only a Compliment Coming From Him

Adam: You're so squishy, that's why I like to hug you, whereas Dad is kind of hard.

Co-inky-dinks

1. One day last month (well, the eleventh, in fact) I sat down at the computer and discovered I'd missed a little instant message from Peter that said, "Happy 1-11-11!" Then I glanced at the clock in the upper corner of the screen and saw that it was, at that moment, 11:11 a.m., though he'd sent the message about a half an hour earlier.

2. Yesterday I walked into the kitchen to see what time it was. The clock on the microwave and the display on the range below it both said 2:41. Then I thought, "Didn't I set that timer for the pork chops? Heyyyy, wait a minute . . . Could I possibly have walked in at the very minute when the clock, counting forward, and the 3 hour timer, counting down . . . ?" So of course I had to stand there and wait until, sure enough, the display on the microwave changed to 2:42 and the display on the range turned to 2:40.

3. Today, thinking about a dress for Zuzu's baptism next month and looking for inspiration, I typed "girls white dress" into a Google image search. Much to my surprise, on the top row of results was the picture of Jane and Molly in their baptism dresses from this blog.

When I told Peter about the second one and reminded him of the first one yesterday, he said, "Wow. You must be living right," which made me laugh really hard.

Adam's Art

Adam has recently developed a real interest in drawing. Last week he started drawing step by step "how to draw" illustrations for such important items as cars and the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer:

(Adam's instructions break with convention by starting in the lower left corner.)

Here are a couple of drawings he did yesterday:

Asher in the Half Pipe

A few weeks ago we introduced Adam to this video and it has proven to be quite an inspiration. He asked for (and got) a skateboard for his birthday, he talks about skateboarding all the time and, during a trip to see the lights at Temple Square last week, he pretended to skateboard on, and jump off, all the planter boxes and fountain borders.

What Mom Wants for Christmas

This is part of a larger work, a collection of drawings of things he's going to get for his family and friends for Christmas. In case you can't tell, this is "Children who share and no noisy children."

Adam Turned Five

Among other festivities, there was some business with cupcakes.


There were some cousins over to play, and some target practice.




Adam's aim improved later, after he learned that you have to scrunch up your face.

There was a birthday dinner, with Adam's requested menu: artichokes, roasted vegetables (brussels sprouts, carrots, potatoes, and mushrooms), and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. And chocolate milk.

He wanted to say the blessing on the food. He said, "Thank you for this day, and thank you for this food, and please bless that it will be good for us -- well, actually, I know that the mac and cheese isn't good for us, but please bless that at least the other things will be good for us . . ."

Oh, how I love this kid.

Ellen Gets Herself Ready for Preschool

Green preschool T-shirt, pink floral capris, purple sequined vest (another birthday gift from Grandma Kathe), and two-tone purple patent leather Mary Janes.

It took a while to get that shoe buckled.

Green marker on her cheek to match the shirt.

She latched onto those purple shoes at Old Navy a couple of weeks ago and followed me all around the store begging for me to buy them. I kept telling her sorry, no, can't buy those, sorry, no. But when I went to put them back, I couldn't find any others like them, and they had no tag, which might mean . . .

Me, to salesperson: "Can you tell me how much these shoes ring up at?"
Salesperson: "$2.34."
Me: "Thanks. We'll take them."

Adam had been all ready for preschool, but when I called that it was time to go get in the car, Megatron showed up instead.

*By the way, can you see how Ellen has a few bangs now? She cut those herself a few weeks ago. I'm not kidding. No one has touched them since she took the kid scissors to them. We got lucky -- I'm sure her intention was not to give herself some bangs -- she just went after the part that was hanging in front of her face and happened to get it right. I know one of these days our luck is going to run out, because this girl has taken the scissors to her hair 3 times now ("Ellen! Is it ever OK to cut your own hair?" (Big smile)"No!"), and so far never with disastrous results. I do miss those curls I had to cut off when I eventually decided to even everything up after the last time she played barber to herself and took a chunk off from the back underneath.

Black Suede Baby Shoes

For my cousin's baby.

I thrifted an old suede jacket on 99 cent tag day a long time ago, with projects like baby shoes in mind. It was too thin a suede to use without a lining, otherwise this project would have been easier. It was especially fiddly since you can't really pin leather and it could have used some pinning. The pattern is from this Japanese craft book. Looks like it's out of print now. Sadly, I didn't get a pic of the top I embellished with some flowers to match. (So why am I even telling you about it?) That's what I get for starting projects 10 min. before I'm supposed to leave for the shower.

Also, tonight Jane posted this helpful sign, in verse:

Monkey Zu

In our 2004 family newsletter, we reported:

"Zuzu has developed her native climbing skill impressively over the course of the year, learning to get into and out of her highchair without help at 14 months, out of her crib or playpen at 18 months, and out of any shopping cart, even if buckled in. With the help of a bar stool, even the top of the fridge is not out of her reach."

I thought I'd give you this 2010 update on the situation:

video by Peter

Halloween 2010

Jane handed me a list a few weeks ago titled "Candy Corn Witch costume," with exact specifications. Her starting point was the candy corn tights I got her from an after-Halloween clearance sale a couple of years ago. All I did was put the appliqué on the shirt and the ruffle band on the hat (exactly according to Jane's instructions, of course).

Zuzu's piratess costume is from our costume box. Grandma Kathe bought it many years ago on after-Halloween clearance, and I added the long skirt under the velour micro-mini skirt it came with and the white neckline insert, 'cause sexpot costumes on sweet little girls are too scary even for Halloween.

Sir Adam the Longlashed.

We were at the dollar store. They had just gotten in their Halloween stuff and I saw the plastic helmet, breastplate, gauntlets, shield, and sword. Me: "Adam, would you like to be a knight for Halloween?" Adam: "YEAH!"

I made the tunic, leggings, and boot spats. So far I've only had to hot glue 3 of the dollar store items back together. That's because I didn't let him play with them until yesterday.


Grandma Kathe made Ellen the green leotard and tutus for her birthday last August, so when I saw green wings and fairy shoes at the dollar store the same day we got Adam's plastic armor, my Cheap! Easy! Costume! alarm was going off like crazy. I made a flower head wreath, put a flower on each shoe, and added elastic to the opening so they'd stay on.

Who Are You, Who Are So Wise in the Ways of Science?

After trying to salvage what was left after some neighbor boys knocked most of our nectarines off the tree, I had a box of fruit on the counter for several days.

Do you know what happens when you have a box of fruit on your kitchen counter for several days?

Fruit flies happen.

After a bit of research on the marvelous interwebs, I had come across three different suggestions for a homemade fruit fly trap. So, thought I, Why not try them all?

My highly scientific conclusion: If you have a fruit fly problem, forget the funnel or soap suds traps, and go straight for the plastic-wrap-with-a-few-tiny-holes-poked-in-it variety. And conventional homilies notwithstanding, you'll actually catch more flies with vinegar than honey.

OK, so I didn't properly control for variables since the middle bottle is the only one that has red wine vinegar and a piece of fruit in it, while the bait in the other jars is just white vinegar. But I'm convinced that it was the plastic wrap that made the difference, since the little guys were all over the drops of white vinegar I spilled on the counter.

If you try this at home, I'd recommend trapping them in a few quicker batches rather than leaving them in the jar for too long. You don't want them to lay eggs and start to breed, a process which takes -- if my recollections from 10th grade biology class genetics experiments with Drosophila serve me correctly -- about 5 minutes.

Sorry if this post grossed you out, but I will not be restrained from furthering the cause of Science.

Twelve

Look at the beautiful flowers Peter gave me for our anniversary: