Who Are You, Who Are So Wise in the Ways of Science?

After trying to salvage what was left after some neighbor boys knocked most of our nectarines off the tree, I had a box of fruit on the counter for several days.

Do you know what happens when you have a box of fruit on your kitchen counter for several days?

Fruit flies happen.

After a bit of research on the marvelous interwebs, I had come across three different suggestions for a homemade fruit fly trap. So, thought I, Why not try them all?

My highly scientific conclusion: If you have a fruit fly problem, forget the funnel or soap suds traps, and go straight for the plastic-wrap-with-a-few-tiny-holes-poked-in-it variety. And conventional homilies notwithstanding, you'll actually catch more flies with vinegar than honey.

OK, so I didn't properly control for variables since the middle bottle is the only one that has red wine vinegar and a piece of fruit in it, while the bait in the other jars is just white vinegar. But I'm convinced that it was the plastic wrap that made the difference, since the little guys were all over the drops of white vinegar I spilled on the counter.

If you try this at home, I'd recommend trapping them in a few quicker batches rather than leaving them in the jar for too long. You don't want them to lay eggs and start to breed, a process which takes -- if my recollections from 10th grade biology class genetics experiments with Drosophila serve me correctly -- about 5 minutes.

Sorry if this post grossed you out, but I will not be restrained from furthering the cause of Science.